Talking about speaking
I’ve talked about public speaking on this website before and I truly feel that it is a skill that puts you ahead of the game because it gives you power and confidence. Learning how to communicate with one person versus an audience is a big change in comfort. Ultimately, public speaking is important. But I bet you already knew that. We take multiple public speaking classes in college, give presentations at work, or perform in front of crowds. But while public speaking is such a valuable skill, I feel like communication on a smaller scale is overlooked. We try to focus on learning how to speak to a large group of people, yet struggle talking to one person. People don’t know how to communicate anymore. While some people contemplate words, others spew without thinking. The book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz says interesting things about how we speak:
“The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human; it is the tool of magic. But like a sword with two edges, your words can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you. Your word is pure magic, and misuse of your word is black magic.”
I think people can be ruthless with their words and use them poorly while others hold words back in fear of the response. We don’t take classes on how to speak to other people; you’d think speaking is common sense but it’s more complex than I even know. When we are little, we are taught what we can and can’t say. When we are older, we’re scared to talk to new people. Or we lash out from frustration and say words we don’t mean. The clique quote “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is straight BS. Because while we may think we are all strong and mighty, words can hurt. I agree that the extent to which words affect people differs on the individual. But I think words can be just as damaging as sticks and stones.
We don’t even know how to speak to ourselves. Self-love is hard to achieve because we first have to say nice things to ourselves and then second, believe them.
Reading words allows communication but speaking them is more telling. We assume the meaning of a text conversation because tone and inflection are lost without actually hearing words. For improved communication, call or facetime people more often. Or even better, see them in person.
Onto the topic of assumptions. Assumptions are dangerous because most of the time we assume the worst. The majority of things we worry about don’t even happen. But sometimes we assume because we think it’s our last resort. This is why it’s important to communicate with people. We can avoid assuming and false accusations if we ask.
While I give the advice to use your voice, I feel hypocritical because my entire website is through writing. But I hope to use my voice whether it’s to create a podcast or become a powerful badass woman. Until then.